Breshe Therapy

The city was slowly awaking as the morning sun peeped through the clouds. The stillness would be disturbed in a short time with the Friday morning commute and soon there would be chatter coming from the construction site that was located ten minutes away. It was a typical warm Kingston morning but the Moreau household was frigid. Janelle’s eyes opened, she tugged at the covers and as her feet became exposed, a small chill ran across her toes and she quickly tucked them in. The air condition was below nineteen degrees. She groaned. Pulling the covers tightly around her shoulders she looked up to the ceiling and sighed, she wondered how long it would be before everything returned to normal in her home. 

There had been an uneasy tension between Janelle and her husband Matisse for weeks. She thought she would break the ice by sharing some good news last night, but it backfired and only made matters worse. The argument played over and over again in her head like an old jazz song. Something so wonderful and beautiful, well to her, had seemed so appalling to him. She had never seen or heard him so distressed. He had been angry before, but last night’s reaction seemed odd. She felt like an outsider, more like a traitor who committed treason. Janelle did not want to face him today and quite frankly if he decided to leave her, she did not care.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted in the air all the way from downstairs. Matisse was up and if he was that meant he would be knocking on her door soon and she was not in the mood for conversation. She heard his footsteps making their way slowly up the staircase and the smell of coffee grew more pungent. She took a deep breath and sat up trying her best to not look miserable. Two soft knocks followed by Matisse’s voice asking tenderly “Jan are you up?” broke the much-needed silence she wished would have lasted longer. After a pregnant pause, she rose and walked soundlessly to open the door. “Yes Matt, I’m up. I thought you left last night” she answered awkwardly. “No, I didn’t, I didn’t like how things ended so I decided to stay. Can we talk?” he replied. She stared blankly at him for a few seconds and her tummy did a tiny summersault. 

Firstly, she was thrown off by his response. After last night she didn’t expect him to be this calm. He sounded like he was back to normal but she was not feeling particularly chatty. She was even more confused this morning than she was last night. Janelle responded softly while folding her arms “I am really not ready to talk to you right now, can you give me at least until tonight? I’m just not in the best moods or spirits right now and I don’t want to say something that I’ll end up regretting”. Matisse nodded, “No problem Jan, and by the way, I’m sorry about what I said last night too, really sorry” he responded. “I brought coffee, would you like some?” he asked. “No thank you, but thanks for offering” she replied and gave him a curt smile while she closed the door. She quickly went back to bed and dived under the covers listening for him to leave. Instead, she heard from the other side of the door “Jan, I am really sorry for what I said last night. I know you don’t want to talk but I just don’t want to leave before saying it again. I am deeply and truly sorry.”  She didn’t respond “I’m leaving in a few minutes, so if I don’t see you before I leave, see you later, I love you” he continued.

She exhaled slowly as she heard footsteps descending the staircase. The showers in one of their guest bedrooms turned on shortly accompanied by the smell of musk and Invictus cologne. How did they even get here? Janelle pondered. She lifted the covers and looked across the room. Immediately a nicely framed photograph of her and Matisse in St. Lucia came into full view. That was their last vacation from earlier in spring. Maybe it was even where all their perceived trouble began. Minutes later the engine of Matt’s SUV roared and she knew she was home alone. Alone with her thoughts which she felt she was drowning in. Her head pounded slightly and tears welled up in her eyes, a single tear fell on her skin. It was warm and sadly it was the only warm thing she had felt in weeks. Janelle’s tears fell like a river that had overflowed its banks. She wept because of last night’s argument but most of all she wept because she did not know if there would be any return to normal in her life.

       An earth-shattering noise on her coffee table broke the silence and tears. It was her cell phone. She quickly wiped her tears, grabbed her cell phone, and looked at the screen. It was a text from her older sister Avril in caps, I NEED YOUR HELP! Oh no, she pondered. I can't bear any more heartaches today. Janelle quickly sat up and dialed her sister’s number while silently praying ‘Dear God, my heart is very fragile today, please no more bad news. “Hey there sunshine” her sister responded sweetly. Confused, Janelle asked sharply “Are you okay, I just got your text”? “Yes, sister girl I’ve never been better” Avril responded. Extremely confused Janelle asked again ‘Avril what's happening I just received your text, you said you needed my help, are you sure you are okay?’ “Oooooohhhh that text, you’re just getting that? Humph, I needed your assistance with a purchase yesterday. I was buying a pair of Bridget sandals and I needed your help with the final decision, but the sales girl was totally helpful and I got through”. Avril said happily.

“Avrilllllllllllllllllllllllll Brown I could literally hurt you right now, my mind ran all over the place. I thought you were hurt or something happened to mom or dad! You're lucky you’re cute” Jan responded while sighing aloud. “Sis I’m so sorry I just got excited you know how I am, how you a move coward so missis, did you eat breadfruit for breakfast, lunch, or dinner this week”? Avril responded while laughing uncontrollably. “Av that’s not funny, I’m not feeling so well emotionally, I really thought you were hurt” Janelle responded. “Jan, babe I’m sorry, are you okay I really didn't mean to scare you, are you crying”? Avril sounded very frightened “Yes I am, well no not really babe, but I’m not ready to talk about it just yet” Janelle responded. Avril paused and asked cautiously “Is something wrong between you and Mat”? Avril could read Janelle like a book, something Janelle hated. “Babe, no Matt and I are okay. I’m just a little emotional. It's just one of those” Avril broke Janelle’s sentence bluntly “I’m not buying that response but please call me when you want to talk or even better we can go for a drive to mom and dad’s chill spot. My treat”. Janelle’s eyes immediately welled up with tears again and she responded “I would love that Av, I apprecilove you, you know that ''.

“Like you have a choice, anywho I have a meeting to catch, talk to you soon babe, love you” Avril returned. “Love you morer Av, bye” Janelle replied. Jan felt much better after talking to Avril. She always did; at times like these, she thanked God for her sister. She quickly dialed her assistant Renae and a perky voice answered on the other end after three rings “Happy Friday Ms. M, how are you today?” Janelle replied “I’m doing great Renae. However, I won’t be coming in today, I have something I need to tie up. Please apologise to Mr. Carr for me and tell him I’ll call him over the weekend or Monday. Hold things down for me” Jan sputtered. “No problem Ms. M I’ll hold down the fort. Stay safe” responded Renae. Janelle exhaled and said, “Thanks Renae, have a great weekend”. Renae was a gem, the best assistant she had had in a while. Janelle made a mental note to order lunch for Renae on Monday and fell back under the covers, dropping asleep instantly.

       Janelle’s eyes opened and she still felt groggy. She stretched and looked at the clock on the night table. It was 3:30 PM. Outside she heard the birds chirping and a rooster crowing blaringly. She chuckled and said aloud “Crowing at 3:30 pm sir. Wow this week is really one for the books”. After deliberating under the covers on what to do next Janelle got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, washed her face quickly, and decided to venture outdoors for some fresh air. She stepped outside on the balcony and inhaled the crisp late afternoon air. It was a beautiful December evening and the weather was changing. December was her favourite time of the year. It was cooler and there was something in the atmosphere that was just so warm. The irony. She slowly exited the balcony through the bedroom and went downstairs barefoot, still in her nightshirt, hair tousled and her eyes slightly swollen. A quick spot check revealed that the kitchen, den, and living room were immaculate. Matt must have tidied up before he left. She opened the back door of their home and the fresh air encircled her like a hug. She smiled. It was the first time this week she had smiled sincerely. She immediately looked up to the heavens and said “I know that was you, God, thank you”.

Walking slowly, she ambled towards her beloved breadfruit tree and stood underneath its branches, and held its trunk. It was planted by her Dad as soon as she and Matt bought the land five years ago. She remembered her dad's words, “You affi have one tree a town Jan. This breadfruit tree will give you plenty breeze and plenty shade, plus nice yellow heart breshe”. Immediately, she was filled with nostalgia and she made another mental note to call her parents. It was two days and she hadn’t heard from them. She missed them. She sat down at the roots of the breadfruit tree, lying flat on her back while hoisting her feet on the trunk. Janelle gazed up into the leaves and started to unwind her mind. This tree was her most prized possession. No one thought the tree would thrive in town but it did. Matt had threatened to cut it down many times because it bore no fruit but she begged him and he relented. This breadfruit tree was there for her on every occasion in her life. It was her solace after every good or bad news at work. It was the first place she went whenever she had any kind of disagreement with Matt. Today here she is again laying it all to her beloved breshe. She smiled, sighed, and whispered aloud

“Dear God, things are not so good between Matt and I right now. I know this may not be the best time for this news but please help us get through this. I know he loves me and I know I love him and I know that You can help us through anything. You’ve done it before and I know You can do it again. In Jesus' name, I pray, amen”.

  Dusk slowly approached and Janelle sat up to watch the sunset. Living on a hill was her second favourite thing; sunsets were divine and she loved soaking them up as often as she could. “Hey, you” called Mat silently from behind her. Startled, Janelle watched him as he sauntered slowly to where she lay. She could still smell the Musk and Invictus on him from the morning. “I didn’t even hear the van pull in. How was your day? You’re home early, what time is it?” Jan responded softly. “Busy, but okay. It's 5:00 pm, I didn’t have many meetings today so I decided to come home early. How was yours”? He responded while looking down at her. Jan looked up at him and smiled “Quiet, very quiet, I didn’t do much at all today as you can see” replied Janelle while pointing to her nightshirt and bare feet. Matisse chuckled and placed his hands in his pocket. Looking at the sunset, he said softly “Are you ready to talk?” Jan got up and walked closer to the edge of the hill. “If you’re still not ready to talk that’s okay Jan” called Matisse. Janelle turned around to face Matisse. Pacing back and forth with her hands glued to her hips she said, “Matt I didn’t do this by myself. You made me feel very small last night like I was some random woman trying to trick you”. Matisse removed his hands from his pocket and walked slowly towards Janelle and replied “Jan I’m sorry, I really should have been honest with you. I just have a lot on my mind lately. I panicked when you told me last night. The business has been unusually slow this quarter and we lost the Lee-Chin account. Yes, I know you tell me all the time that I should not worry, but I did. I don’t want to not be able to take care of us. You know that’s my worst fear”.

Janelle surveyed her husband’s temperament; he looked anxious, and his eyes looked dark. The man she knew who walked confidently into meetings spewing orders looked like he was about to cry. Jan removed her hands from her hips and exhaled aloud “Matisse Raphael Moreau, I’m not your business partner or your investors, I’m your wife. Why do you feel like you are in this alone? You’re not, how many times do I have to tell you this?” Matisse replied “Jan, maybe seventy more years, or a hundred. Listen deep down inside I’m really happy, but last night I was out of it. Please accept my apologies. Those words were wrong, I know I can’t take them back but I’m offering these new words instead” he said. Janelle smirked, “What’s that smirk about?” he asked. She walked slowly towards him and cupped his face with her hands. The muscles in his jaws relaxed and his eyes softened. “Matisse, when I said for better or for worse, I meant it”.

She watched his shoulders release the tension and added with a raised eyebrow and pouty lips, “Stop worrying about the future. That's God’s job. Are you God Matisse Raphael Moreau?” All his facial features lit up as he laughed. She laughed aloud with him too. It was a while since their home heard genuine laughter. “No, Janelle Brown–Moreau, I’m not God, just a man crazy about Him and you,” he responded. She smiled and kissed him softly on his lips. He brought his hands to her belly and asked against her lips “How far along are you? Have you been to the doctor? Are you feeling sick or anything?” “Eight weeks along. Yes, I went to the doctor last Monday and I'm feeling fine now. I was actually a nervous wreck a couple of weeks ago and last night you almost gave me a heart attack but I’m feeling much better today, especially now”. Matisse took her in his arms and hugged her for dear life. Janelle whispered silently against his chest “Thank you breshe and thank you, Jesus”

EPILOGUE

Janelle woke up to the smell of coffee brewing. She yawned, stretched, and then sat up slowly. The clock on the coffee table said 7:00 pm. She heard someone singing and threw her head back in a fit of laughter. Matt was great at many things, singing was not one of them. She was so happy to hear him singing nonetheless. They had been in much better spirits these past few months. She looked down at her growing belly and smiled. She swung her legs, looked for her bedroom slippers, and made her way to the bathroom. She paused quickly after catching a glimpse of her reflection in their full-length mirror. Her belly was gigantic at seven months pregnant, making her wonder many times if she was carrying twins. She was quite ready for this little one to come. Although they were tempted to find out the sex of baby Moreau they decided to wait until the delivery. Janelle still couldn’t believe that in a few months they would-be parents.

She was nervous and excited in the same breath. Baby Moreau and her bladder had a huge love affair and she could not wait for it to end. The bathroom was becoming her new chill spot. She heard footsteps climbing the stairs and then Matt’s voice while the door opened “Jan, are you up”? “I’m in here” she called out. She washed her hands, and her face and brushed her teeth. Smiling Matisse waiting in the bedroom with a tray of food. “How’s my fair lady doing?” she looked at him quizzically and responded, “Why are you smiling so hard? How many cups of coffee did you have”? 

“Can I not be happy to see my pregnant wife? How are you feeling? I heard you getting up quite a few times last night. Our young king is giving you a workout already”. Matisse smiled while lowering the tray to the coffee table. “I guess I’m doing okay, just tired and a little grumpy. By the way, why do you keep saying it’s a boy? Do you and Avril and Dr. Foster know something I don’t?” she said, folding her arms and side-eyeing him. He laughed out loud and responded, “You know I’ll be happy with anything, but a man can dream”. Janelle joined in with the laughter as well.

She looked at him adoringly while reminiscing on the last few months. Matisse was happier now than she had seen him since they got married. He fawned over her and did everything he could to make sure she was comfortable. He stopped working late and did not miss one doctor’s appointment. “Yes you can. It’s almost eight; you need to leave or you’ll be late”. He walked up to her, held her face and said: “Listen, remember to call me if you need anything, even if it’s just a foot rub or you just want to talk okay”. “Okay I promise, have a good day, I love you” she replied. “I love you morer Jan,” he responded while kissing her forehead. The smell of Invictus flooded the atmosphere and his jeep soon roared out of the driveway. 

Janelle waddled towards the tray Matt left on the bed, it was all of her favourite things,  cinnamon tea, ham, potatoes, ripe plantains, roast breadfruit, tomatoes, eggs, cheddar cheese, and a red rose. Her mouth watered instantly. Grabbing her robe and taking up the tray, she headed towards the door making her way slowly and cautiously down the stairs. It was a great day to have breakfast at her favourite spot. The morning air felt rejuvenating. She carefully spread the robe while balancing her tray of delectables and then laid the tray down. Janelle leisurely sat down under her breadfruit tree and soaked up the silence. Later this weekend her home would be filled with familiar faces. Both sets of their parents, close friends, and family were coming to celebrate Baby Moreau. Both Matt and herself both decided on something intimate and at home. She looked up towards the breadfruit tree, smiled, and said aloud ‘Breshe, we’ll be having an additional Moreau soon. Isn’t that crazy?” 

“No Jan - you talking to a breadfruit tree” responded Avril from the parking lot as she walked toward Janelle. “I’ve been calling all morning, where is your phone lady? It’s a good thing I saw Matt and he gave me his key”. Janelle chuckled and said, “You’re early, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow”. “It’s a surprise! I’m taking you to Mom and Dad’s chill spot before the excitement unfolds Sunday. I want my nephew to know this spot before he gets here physically. Are you game?” Janelle was so happy she got up as quickly as she could and hugged Avril so tightly Avril screamed. “Sorry, I’m just so emotional. You get the sister of the year award, you know that?” she said while Avril held her by the waist and they made their way back inside the house. “Yeah, yeah I know, but don’t ever squeeze me like that again. Pregnant or not, I’ll squeeze you back” Avril replied while chuckling. Janelle, quickly remembering the last part of Avril’s statement, just now stood still and gasped “Did you just call Baby Moreau a boy”. Startled Avril responded and opened the back door while walking quickly and shouted lustily “me? Boy? No, no. Did I say you are having a boy? It seems the baby is messing with your brain already”. Janelle cried out loudly while Avril went scampering upstairs towards her bedroom “Avrilllllllllllllllllllllllll”! Something popped and fluid raced down Janelle’s inner thighs. 

THE END